There was no way 5:30 a.m. was going to happen this morning. Suffice to say it was a long, interrupted night. I just put Claire down for a nap, so I decided to do a quick Tarot draw and some reading. Today I’ll write about each card and then (perhaps, maybe) come to some sort of conclusion at the end.
Question: What insights do I need to make this weekend beneficial to the whole family.
Spread: I drew one card per day (Friday night, Saturday, Sunday) and a clarity card.
Friday: Five of Cups
Aeclectic.net tells me that Fives “represent the fly in the ointment. Instability; the changes that make one humble and allow for growth”. Fives are equated to the Hierophant. I know that Cups are the water suit and represent emotion. The card on first glance says to me introspection and worry. It’s a desolate card with one lone figure gazing into a bowl, though richly colored. The deck book tells me this card is about wallowing in sorrow, grieving for what might have been. Aeclectic calls it the “spilled milk” card, while admonishing one to open their eyes to look at what is good and not wallow (harp on) what is bad/”lost”.
Saturday: Six of Pentacles
Sixes are balance and harmony, equated to the Lovers. Pentacles represent the earth, grounded, unmoving. Aeclectic says: “These cards predict a solution, and not just any solution; there will be an exchange, a give and take that results in a new equilibrium.” I’ve drawn this card from this deck a few times and it’s always been hard for me to read–my interpretation doesn’t match up with deck book. The deck book says that the card depicts a “self-sustaining cycle”. A piper sits on a crumbling stone ledge and his music nourishes a vine whose roots and tendrils buttress the ledge. Biddy Tarot places more emphasis on the financial aspects of the card, calling it the “money in-money out” card. The gist of their interpretations is that it is a peaceful financial card, one of balance, harmony, generosity and charity. A wise financial decision (or resource) decision that benefits everyone.
Sunday: Wheel of Fortune
To me, this card is “change is coming”. Maybe good, maybe bad, maybe life, maybe death. But change. And with any kind of change, you can take a step back to see that life is at one part of the wheel and someday will turn again. Aeclectic says that it is a card of change, but almost always good change, luck and fortune. Biddy Tarot speaks of change, maybe good or maybe bad, but the point is to be active in the change. If life changes for the “worse”, then be active in changing it again for the better.
Clarity: Ace of Swords.
Aces are “raw potential” akin to the Magician giving tools to the Fool. Swords are the suit of the air element, one of intelligence, wisdom and the mind. The deck book states that the card depicts a “double edged sword” that will soon have to cut one way or the other. Aeclectic says this: “The breeze stirs through the trees and the fledgling thinks of trying out its newly feathered wings. The sword is lifted, and the querent wants to test its edge.” Most interpretations I read spoke of the dawning of something powerful, pruning, success.
Conclusion: I’m not sure. Regret, generosity, change, pruning. Sorrow, old-new balance, fortune, decision. In my mind this can relate to a struggle I’m having about “coming out” as it were and pursuing my path as a…what? See, that’s the thing. I don’t know what I am. I’ve discussed labels before, and come to the conclusion that this is not the right time for me to apply one. However, I’ve been longing for my home to be able to be my home. I keep all my books in my night table stand, I hide away my journals and my tarot deck, I don’t have an altar though I’d like one. All because I’m afraid for someone to see it–anyone–friends, parents, inlaws. How I’m going to bring up Claire religiously has been gnawing at me.
I can see them now for what they are, in a way–a distraction. Will they have to be dealt with? Absolutely. But right now? I don’t think so. They are exaggerated fears, especially for this moment in my life.
Things are changing, to be sure. I am changing and have changed. I’ve been worried about it, uncertain, flakey and nervous too much. Time to accept what is coming, what is, know that I have a good balance and step out in it.
Also–enough naval gazing! (But…but…then would I even have a blog? ;))
I’ll report back after the weekend to see if I have any other insights into this spread. Any input into the spread is welcome, as well!