So, I said I was going to do it. And here I am.
I got out of my warm, cozy bed after Claire’s first morning feeding–at the ripe hour of 5:30 a.m.–and blearily wandered into the living room. My heart was willing, but my body was not. A quick yoga routine (man! that felt good!) fixed that and then a Tarot draw for the day.
Intention: what should I be aware of in myself or others today (something that will help me or give me clarity/direction?)
Card 1: Kind of Wands
Clarity Card: Four of Cups
First off, I was very mystified by the combination. I’m not very familiar with the Tarot yet, so I read some interpretations. Now it makes a lot of sense. For the past few weeks, after weeks of success with weight-loss and fitness I have relapsed pretty hardcore. It’s always the same, isn’t it, with any bad habit/addiction? Anyway. Yesterday I felt confused about it. I spent the whole day (while eating-for-comfort the whole time, not necessarily bingeing but close) in circular contemplation about WHY WHY WHY I couldn’t get over this. I dithered the whole day, which just ultimately made the problem worse. No action. Just dithering.
To me, the King of Wands tells me that today I need action. I need some fire in my gut. The Four of Cups could be seen as yesterday, in one way, but I also think it is to give me pause about the action I take. I’m an extremist. A perfectionist. I have failed perfectionist syndrome like you wouldn’t believe. Four of Cups seems to me to say that the action is wonderful–but it needs to come with a dimension of contemplation and direction.
Also, the Four of Cups could mean that I’m sick of this problem. Which I am.
That’s the most immediate meaning to me. This can also relate to my creative life. I finished NaNoWriMo in November and I’ve been letting my manuscript sit fallow. Which is awesome; it needs to do that. But perhaps I should start polishing it off and deciding just what I’m going to do with it.
Was the yoga and card reading worth getting up for? Yes. Most definitely yes. I feel grounded, energetic and hopeful–albeit tired. The first days of new routines are always wonderful, non?